Day Nine

This pregnancy I have been plagued with headaches! A few days ago I had a headache behind my right eye and then last night I started with a headache behind my left eye. I decided to go to bed rather than writing a blog post in the hopes that it would go away, but this morning I woke up with the headache still. I was so lucky when I was pregnant with Jack because I didn't have a single headache at all. I guess the old adage that every pregnancy is different is true.

Yesterday the big task was to try to cross stitch. I did not pick that up as easily as the knitting. I got frustrated pretty quickly and put the project down. Maybe I'll try again today.

I think yesterday was just a tough day all around. I had my first breakdown since I got out on bed rest. In a moment of weakness I decided to pick Jack up and lift him on the bed with me. Ryan saw me do it and really reminded me that I am not allowed to be doing things like that. In this particular situation, Jack had tripped and fell and he came running over to me for comfort. How can a Mom deny providing comfort to her child in a time like that? I was caught in a catch 22: If I pick up Jack, I put strain on myself that could harm the baby, if I don't pick up Jack, he's hurting and doesn't understand why Mommy won't love him up. The weight of the whole situation was overwhelming so after I picked him up, I just cried. Ryan reminded me that he is here to lift Jack up to me...so I really should have got Ryan's attention so he could lift Jack to me and then neither of my babies would have been hurt. It was a moment of pure weakness and just a desire to be the Mommy I want to be with Jack.

The night ended much better when our friends Jake, Rilie and their daughter Ivy brought dinner. Ivy is six days older than Jack and the two of them get to play together in the nursery at church on Sunday mornings. When we told Jack Ivy was coming over, he paced up and down the hallway saying, "Ivy, Ivy, Ivy, Ivy!" It was so sweet. It was so nice to have the company and hear the kiddos playing in the loft. Although, we really have to crack down on Jack's throwing! He accidentally hit Ivy with one of his toys, and I felt horrible. It's hard because he says "NO" as he's doing it...so he knows that we tell him not to throw, but he does it anyway. Before I was put on bed rest, I was starting to initiate a short time-out when he wasn't listening. Unfortunately, there hasn't been consistency with that because our life is out of routine right now, but I'm going to have to get on that as soon as I am allowed to move around again. Thank you Jake and Rilie for the delicious dinner and the wonderful company. It made my night!